Clients sometimes write to let me know how they thought their therapy went. The following statements are reprinted with the permission of the clients...
"You gave me the space to be a full person"
So here we are, it’s the last session. I can’t believe how time moves. I’m pretty sure by now you know what this experience has meant to me. I know you care a great deal as well. I’d still like to try and put into words how grateful I am to have known and worked with you.
When I first came to see you over 3 years ago I was a person who felt she was unworthy of love and deserved to be abused or worse. I didn’t trust myself or anyone else. I had come very close to losing all hope. Therapy changed those illusions - you changed my life by being there. Today I feel like a completely different person though I still have a ways to go. I want to be alive - I’m excited to risk loving and letting people into my world. I’m still scared of that but this experience shows me I can do it.
The thing I realize now is you gave me the space to be a full person. I never had that before this. I could experience anger, frustration, joy, love, closeness, distance, and sexual desire, all of it! Before I tried to disown a lot of these things, but now I can feel them and be a part of the world. I know this is painful to say goodbye, but that pain is nothing compared to what my life may have been like had I not met and worked with you.
Looking back on the last 3 years it amazes me how much we accomplished together and things we discovered about not just my life - but life in general. All the changes that took place - well I still feel like I’m processing them and will be for a while.
(Printed with permission from client)
"Our sessions have been extremely beneficial to me, perhaps more than I even know at this point."
Good Morning Dr. Moelbak,
I never got a chance to say thank you for all our sessions. You were my first therapist - and psychotherapy matched what I really needed and who I am. Our sessions have been extremely beneficial to me, perhaps more than I even know at this point.
I do want to share one major area that our sessions unlocked. I used to be very dependent on my 'lists' and 'planning' and 'goals'. Now I am much more comfortable with not knowing everything right at that moment. I can stay with uncertainty and my need to resolve things right away has waned a sufficient amount. This is a huge change for me - and funnily, during our sessions - this wasn't really one of my goals nor was it part of my awareness at the time - but it's what I needed most. My goals were quite the opposite - to resolve all the 'problems'. I look to my old intentions knowingly. I feel good about the progress. I am also much less critical of myself and less focused on trying to fit the feeling rules that our norm has provided for our (almost) blind use. Which means I feel less guilty for being myself.
There are so many times we help out other people but we never know where they are at and how the benefit affected them. I just wanted you to know that somewhere, somehow, it worked for me.
As I wrote this mail, I was asking the question as to why I am mailing you. And immediately, I also thought 'Does it really matter? Do you have to know? Is it not enough that it makes you happy and that you have the chance to say it?' I do have a tendency to run away with the threads of thought. At some level I must admit that I enjoy it.
But I will say that I am glad I have a chance to say thank you. That's all that matters right now.
Thank you Dr. Molbak for giving me space to be and explore - something that I feel the world doesn't let most people do without it's associated rewards and sanctions. Thank you for showing me that there can be such a place of non-judgement and exploration. This work is so very important.
(Printed with permission from client)